"'Sexist trousers' are below the belt"

Some sexist 'jokes' can be funny. Others are just offensive and we shouldn't succumb to societal pressure to laugh for the sake of it, writes Emma Barnett.

The washing lable inside the beige chinos from Madhouse, a discount men's clothing shop

This weekend, as I attempted to tidy to my house, I happened to notice the label inside my boyfriend’s trousers – which he had strewn across the floor of our bedroom.

Upon picking them up, to throw them firmly onto ‘his chair’, (my weekly way of telling him that he needs

to put his clothes away), this large white label happened to catch my eye.

As expected, it detailed what temperature the trousers should be washed at. But then, I noticed, stiched in capital letters no less, the usually inoffensive washing instructions tag, offered a rather less appropriate cleaning option: “OR - GIVE IT TO YOUR WOMAN, IT’S HER JOB”.

Now normally I am the type of person who can stomach, and often smile along, with a touch of what has just become known as casual sexist ‘banter’. Having studied politics at university and shared a house with five testosterone-fuelled male students, I was schooled early-on in picking the battles worth fighting and knowing ‘how to take a joke’ – even when it seemed like it was at the expense of my gender.

Usually sexist jibes, statements, or even t-shirt logos, have some kind of juvenile or puerile humour to them. There’s more often than not a slight hint of tongue-in-cheek that allows most women to just pass off the remark or slogan as ‘stupid banter’ – even if they are seething inside. It’s just easier and we know it’s not meant with 'any real harm'.

However, this crass message stitched onto the label in these cheap chinos from Madhouse, genuinely took me aback.

There was no attempt at wit, and unlike the Topman t-shirts, which offended so many with their brazen slogans to be worn across young men’s chests - this was a hidden message - or rather an order, intended to encourage women to reassume their once their ‘proper place’ (in the home) and young men to maintain the expectations of their grandfathers.

Even the language – ‘Your Woman’ – presupposed some kind of Neanderthal mentality from my boyfriend, an unwilling shopper after some affordable chinos – preferably not lined with sexist imperatives.

When I posted a photo of the humourless trouser label onto Twitter yesterday, ironically two days before the 101st International Women’s Day – I had no idea how large the reaction would be.

Suddenly I was inundated with both women and men calling for me to ‘name and shame’ the brand behind such a tasteless stitching.

Hundreds of tweeters were soon expressing their own shock at the washing instruction and letting me know that they would boycott Madhouse – even though the majority of them had never heard of this discounts men’s clothing shop. The subject even started trending on Twitter.

But then, cue the predictable minority chorus of men telling me to “lighten up” and “learn how to take a joke” and the women who love to be 'one of the boys’ and live in fear of being called a ‘feminist’, informing me of how “hilarious” the message was. One man told me not to "get my knickers in a twist" - which albeit patronising, was at least an attempt at humour.

And yet, that’s just it. If the comment had been remotely funny – I would have been the first to laugh and shrug it off – as it really wouldn’t have bothered me enough to photograph it, tweet it and then write about it. But it was the lack of any implied humour and the horrible surprise of such an incongruous message hidden away inside some trousers, that left me just plain stunned.

We really are in a bad place as a society when laughing something off has become virtually the only response to anything vaguely anti-female, or anti-male for that matter. When football pundit Andy Gray, was sacked by Sky Sports News, and his colleague Richard Keys resigned over their respective sexist remarks last year – there was an enormous pressure for women to laugh their remarks off as ‘lads being lads’ – when that simply just was not the case.

People have also expressed their frustration to me that through highlighting this chauvinist label, I have given Madhouse great publicity and it will financially benefit. Really? It can hardly claim the same brand awareness level as the likes of Topman – plus the company has yet to even respond – or fix its dreadful website – which has been down for at least the last three days. This is a moot point. I don’t think anybody expects hordes of people to specially seek out Madhouse as their shopping destination this weekend.

Some sexist remarks are funny; but some really aren't. The individuals and brands behind the offensive ones deserve outing and shaming. And just remember - the people pointing out these inappropriate comments can still have a perfectly decent sense of humour.