In sickness and in health!

Three couples whose marriages have stood the test of time share their tales of togetherness.

60 and Counting:
IT'S A marriage that defies all stereotypes. The marriage of Prem Seth, who retired as the chairman of Bata and Leila Seth, the first woman judge of Delhi High Court and the first woman Chief Justice of a state High Court could be a battleground of clashing egos. Instead, it was all about fine balance and space. For him, it was love at first 'date' (arranged by Leila's mom). "Leila was educated and bright-and she was looking for a home that would be hers, someone to take care of her and a family she would nurture," says Prem. It took Leila several dates to feel assured that Prem was the one-caring, understanding and willing to give space. They were right about each other. Prem encouraged Leila's education and career, while she deftly juggled her commitments at home and work. Leila remembers how her Premo had said, "How can I ask you to cut off one hand?" when she was once faced with a tough choice between her career and kids. And how did Prem take to his wife's zooming career? "Premo is confident and a self-made man," quips Leila. "And Leila's gentle nature never let ego creep between us," adds her supportive husband of 60 years. Of course, they have their share of eternal gripes. "Premo was born in a
barn-he never closes doors!" While the happy-go-lucky Prem is still stumped by his wife's negative ("cautious," Leila corrects him) attitude. "She always thinks like a lawyer-imagines the worst first and then deals with the rest." Marriage Mix: You take a bit from one partner and a bit from the other. Don't breathe down each other's necks: give space. Understand that kids will only strengthen the bond. Don't be too demanding- being content is the secret to a blissful relationship.

**************2 more stories below*********************

Two to Tango:

THEY ARE inseparable. Claude Alvares, a Prevention columnist and an environmentalist based in Goa and Norma Alvares, a lawyer, have been married for 35 years. And if you add their courtship period, it would amount to 42 years, long enough for a relationship to slip into a habit. But their undiminished desire to be together even after all these years keeps the spark alive. "We wanted to live a happy and peaceful life with ample time for each other. So we shifted to a quiet corner of Goa and took up farming," says Claude. From managing their publishing house to fighting court cases to save the environment from the mining and builder lobbies-they do everything together. "Sharing common interests has only strengthened our bond over the years," says Norma. Claude still doesn't leave an opportunity to flirt with her or surprise Norma with a quick peck on the cheek while she is busy with some chore. Ask Norma, and she'll tell you how she still loves to walk hand in hand with him on the beach, under one umbrella on a rainy evening. "She was and still is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," says Claude, breaking into a huge smile. "And he makes me laugh the way nobody else can," adds his wife. They have their share of friendly jibes too. "Sometimes, Norma is very stern about certain things to be done in a particular way." Chides Norma, "He takes on too much on his plate and takes me for granted in all his ventures." Marriage Mix: Let love's labour not be lost in time. Always look for ways to be on your partner's list of favourites. Spice it up with humour, frequent praise and occasional flirting.

************one more story below********************

Peas in a Pod
WHAT A match they make! Veteran journalist, HS Balram Singh and his wife, homemaker, Rupa Balram (nee Verma) have glided through 30 years of their marriage and managed to keep the honeymoon zing alive even today. Theirs was an inter-caste marriage arranged by mutual friends. Balram and Rupa hit it off from day one. After that they needed just a few more meetings to be convinced the two were made for each other, says Rupa. Even though, financially, the initial years were a struggle, they were happy as they both believed in simple living. The journey has been smooth because they respect each other's space, and because they sort out their differences with maturity. "We try not to be rigid," says Balram. "We take a step back to ensure things don't get out of control," adds Rupa. Even if one of them leaves in a huff, the other makes the effort to call and make up. By evening, a warm smile ensures that their differences have disappeared. It also helps to share similar interests. "For instance both of us like to keep the house spick and span," says Balram. And what do they like the most in each other? "Rupa is cool and level-headed," says her doting husband. "He makes everything look easy-even during tough times," says Rupa warmly. Talking about romance, they say, "We take off to interesting destinations every anniversary. We want to be together and know that we need each other- that keeps the zing alive." Marriage Mix: Welcome ideas from your partner and talk things out to arrive at a joint decision. Be supportive and understanding. Give each other space. Control your temper and don't let issues blow out of proportion. Don't forget, frequent romantic getaways will rekindle your romance.